Parenthood and Addiction

October 1st, 2020

Facing
addiction while responsible for a child is a combination no parent would want.
Both have their own stresses already, and the thought of having to encounter
both simultaneously seems nightmarish. The harsh reality is that substance
addiction and abuse is more prevalent among American parents than we might
think. This specifically concerns parents of young children. Not only will this
affect a parent’s teachings and responsibilities of their child, but the child
can likely pick up the same habits as their parents.

According
to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):

●     Over 10% of American children live
with a parent facing alcohol problems

●     23% of teenagers say their parents do not care all
if they are caught using prescription drugs recreationally

●
27% of teenagers
believe that abusing prescription drugs is better than street drugs, with this
mistaken belief and habit likely stemming from parental influence. A sad
consequence of this is that now more teens die from misusing prescription drugs
than teens who die from street drugs.

For those struggling with addiction as a
parent, there is a wide variety of substances to choose from and the effects
of said substance vary as well.

Alcohol: the parent may neglect or forget
their responsibilities or stay out all night and leave children alone because
of intoxication. Additionally, parents may have rage or depressive episodes,
thus creating an unstable home.

Marijuana: this substance also leads to
parental neglect and forgetting of responsibilities. Parents may also leave
their children alone while trying to find marijuana dealers or while using marijuana.
Lastly, parents may fall asleep under the influence of this drug and would be
unable to monitor and ensure their children’s safety.

Hallucinogens: this array of drugs
includes ecstasy, LSD, PCP, Peyote, and a few others. Hallucinogens also lead
to neglect of childcare responsibilities and temporary absence while seeking
and using these drugs. Additionally, a parent on any of these drugs may be
prone to quick anger or impatience with their child, due to thought distortion
or misunderstanding of their child’s behavior.

Cocaine: a child’s crying for a parent on
cocaine would be magnified in its intensity, whereas such an action may just be
a mild disruption for one who’s sober. Similar to hallucinogens, a parent on
this substance would be quicker to have negative emotions.

Methamphetamine: Parents on meth are more
likely not to supervise their children nor attend to their basic needs of
hygiene, nutrition, or medicine. Additionally, a parent is more likely to
experience aggressive behavior, paranoia, and violence, which could lead to
dire consequences if around their children. Furthermore, if a parent is cooking
their own meth, there are dangerous risks associated with that (which extend to
children), such as home fires and explosions, as well as accidental absorption
of the drug to the children.

Opioids: “opioids” in this sense refers
to prescription pain medication, a commonly abused drug type. Neglect and
absence of supervision are also common consequences of opioid use.
Additionally, parents may bring about dangerous situations to the home by
bringing back dealers and other opioid abusers.

What’s
important to note is that, oftentimes, a person isn’t addicted to substances
solely by their own volition. Addiction, be it any of the substances previously
mentioned, can span familial generations. What your grandparents and beyond
experimented with likely has left your parents, and thus you, more predisposed
to addictive behaviors. All is not lost, though, and there are plenty of steps
you can take to prevent or break intergenerational addiction.

The
first step would be to evaluate and control your emotions. This isn’t to say to
bottle up your emotions or fake your feelings, but rather to remind yourself to
be courageous and resilient. When those who are predisposed to addiction have
negative thoughts, their first instinct is likely to numb the pain with
substances. Supplementing this urge with positive thoughts and experiences will
work wonders.

The
next step is to understand that you needn’t face and mitigate these addictive
urges alone – seek help from outside sources and find a support group to share
your thoughts. Therapy and addiction counseling will fortify your sobriety and
help with any other underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Another
step is to make time for activities revolving around relaxation. Meditation,
yoga, and deep breathing exercises are useful for eliminating built up stresses
and anxieties, cravings, and other urges that would compromise your sobriety.

When
specifically talking about ending existing addictions while being a parent,
there are, as it unfortunately turns out, harsher means for success. Parents
will need to understand that, in order to improve themselves for their
children, conditions will have to drastically change.

These
changes will involve temporary separation of children from addicted parents and
checking into rehabilitation programs/clinics. If a parent fights these
parameters, it is important to remind them that the temporary separation is for
the greater good of them and their children. Further, if they can’t be apart
from their kids for a short time, they may lose their children permanently to
Child Protective Services and be put in foster care.

Ultimately,
if you are or know a parent who is struggling with addiction, please seek help
for yourself or them. A temporary absence from your children in order to take a
positive hold on life and improve for them will be understood. The alternative
is, not to be too hyperbolic, a lifetime of resentment for the parent(s) that
was never there and that passed on destructive behaviors surrounding leisure
and coping. You don’t have to go through parenthood and addiction alone; there
are several resources to help you overcome this difficult time.