Which Recovery Fellowship is Right for You?

July 17th, 2023

The advent of recovery fellowships such as Alcoholics
Anonymous [AA] and SMART Recovery has been described as perhaps the most
important social movement of the last 100 years. Such fellowships have improved
countless lives by giving a way out of addiction, something that was once
considered a hopeless condition. People who try getting sober with a fellowship
do twice as well as those who go it alone.

The model proposed by AA has proven so effective that it has
been copied many times for many addictions and other psychological conditions,
sometimes faithfully and sometimes loosely, but always with certain elements in
place. With so many options, it may seem hard to decide where to start, so this
article will give an overview of some of the basic elements the successful
fellowships have in common and some distinguishing features that can make it easier
for you or a loved one to decide on the best fit.

What Do Different Recovery Fellowships Have in Common?

Recovery fellowships are groups that meet regularly to
provide what has been termed by some professionals as “mutual self-help.” This
is because they combine social and individual components that can allow a
person to overcome conditions and states of mind that may otherwise seem
hopeless. All of the major fellowships are free, open to anyone with the
condition they address, and are almost always run by members who have found
recovery themselves and now strive to help others do the same. There are
several common factors that add up to an effective fellowship.

1.     Meetings
– This is the foundational basis of all the fellowships. Members regularly
gather in person, online, or by phone to discuss recovery, share individual
struggles and triumphs, read and discuss recovery literature, be reminded of
the horrors of addiction and the gifts of recovery, and at the very least have
a safe place to go for an hour or more.

2.     Contact
in between meetings – Meetings are tremendously helpful, but the social support
does not end there. Successful members often build social networks out of the
people from the fellowship. They get coffee or food together after meetings,
exchange phone numbers, make outreach calls to ask for and give support, go on
outings together, etc. Such a network creates social reinforcement and
accountability, two things that help people get through temptations and hurdles
that might otherwise lead to relapse.

3.     Service
– Whether explicitly encouraged in the fellowship or not, service is an
important part of many people’s recovery. There are many ways to give service
at meetings, both formal and informal. Such opportunities include setting up
chairs, cleaning after the meeting, being an online host, being timekeeper,
taking down a phone list, and leading a meeting. Some say there is always a
“meeting before the meeting” and a “meeting after the meeting.” These are times
when there are many chances to perform the simple service of listening to
someone who needs to talk and giving encouragement to others. Studies have shown
that those who engage in service are more likely to stay sober. This is likely
true for several reasons. Service creates a sense of meaning and purpose, which
makes recovery more likely. Service also creates a greater bond to the group.
Of course, volunteer service also keeps the group itself going, thus ensuring
that the fellowship will be there for current and future members.

4.     Personal
Exploration and Action – While the suggested work may look very different in
different fellowships, all of them have a process of self-exploration and
action that all members are encouraged to do. This most often takes the form of
reading and writing that is then shared with experienced members or the group.
It may also include taking actions such as making amends to those harmed in the
course of active addiction. This leads to not only greater self-knowledge, but
also emotional and relationship healing that is a vital part of many recovering
people’s journey. Some fellowships do the work within the meetings, but most encourage
members to do this in between. People may share at meetings about what they
have learned and how they have grown through their individual exploration and
recovery actions.

What Makes Them Different From Each Other?

The most obvious thing that makes one fellowship different
for another is the issues each is formed to address. The most famous and
largest of them is AA, which says it is there strictly to help people recover
from addiction to alcohol. Thus, talk of other substances, let alone behavioral
addictions, is discouraged. That being said, AA has given its blessing to use its
model to address many other conditions. Such groups are collectively called “12
Step recovery groups” by virtue of all of them using some version of AA’s
Twelve Steps. Such groups include Narcotics Anonymous, Drug Addicts Anonymous,
Gamblers Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and All Addictions
Anonymous to name just a few. Almost all of these have analogous groups for
family members to find their own recovery from the effects of the relevant
addiction. These usually have parallel names, such as Al-Anon (for AA),
Nar-Anon (for NA), etc. Then there are the completely separate groups for other
issues, such as Codependents Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Eating Disorders Anonymous,
Racists Anonymous, and many others.

There are also non-12 Step fellowships. Many of these were
formed by people who wanted the benefits of 12 Step recovery without the overt
spirituality of 12 Step groups. While they don’t use the same steps, each has a
set of tools and actions suggested for its members to take. The major
fellowships of this type currently include SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety,
and LifeRing Secular Recovery.

Which Ones Work Best?

In a year-long study, it was found that AA, SMART, Women for
Sobriety, and LifeRing all were equally successful as long as the members
followed the suggested program, attended meetings, engaged in the personal work,
and were of service. People who actively participated in more than one program did
a little better than average, but those who had a pattern of continually abandoning
one of the fellowships for another and never settling anywhere did not do as
well.

The Bottom Line

There is no one-size-fits all answer, but working within a
recovery fellowship has double the success rate of trying to get sober without one.
There are some simple elements that the successful fellowships have in common
and some differentiating factors that can allow you or someone you love find an
option that works for you.